ST. LOUIS, MO – Derek Freeman found himself experiencing information overload on a recent first time visit to nearby Chesterfield Community Church. “I was sitting in the all purpose sanctuary, enjoying my chai tea latte, when the woman up front invited new visitors to see someone on the welcome team if they wanted more information […]

HEAVEN – In a press release issued earlier this month, God declared that professional athletes in any sport who point or gesture in any way in His direction while on the field of play will be subject to the normal penalties for committing a sin. The policy seems to have been in the works for […]

HEAVEN – Sources close to Jesus say the Lord has grown weary of greeting lukewarm Christians with the traditional “well done, thou good and faithful servant.” Christ was seen Monday rolling his eyes at new arrivals who filtered in after Hope Chapel’s bus crashed on its way to a Michael W. Smith concert in Temecula, […]

HOUSTON – The employment of James Kim as youth pastor at Mt. Olive Baptist church here has resulted in some disappointment among church members, but not for the usual pastoral dissatisfaction reasons. “When I saw that we had hired him, I was so excited,” said church treasurer Lilly Rudd. “I thought we could finally start […]

COSTA MESA, CA – With the Writers Guild of America about to begin the sixth week of its strike, the nation’s television networks are scrambling to fill gaps in their programming schedules. But the Christian television industry has suffered through a concurrent strike of the Christian Writers Guild, which has staunched the flow of original […]

ANNAPOLIS, MD – Christine Eagen sits at the table in her neatly decorated suburban dining room with an open phone book, a wall calendar, a notepad and a laptop. She circles church listings in the phone book with a red sharpie, visits their Web sites on her laptop and pencils in their names on her […]

SHELBY, NC – Waitress Doris Philbeck of Earl’s 25 Hour Grill is thrilled with her promotion to Head Server. According to Philbeck, the advancement means she will no longer have to work the Sunday afternoon shift when tips typically hit a weekly low. “Thank goodness I don’t have to endure that church crowd anymore. We have a nickname for them around here – God’s Tightwads.”

Darwin T-Rex eating the Truth Fish eating the Darwin fish on the tailgate of a 2004 Ford F-150 SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The creators of the notorious “Darwin Fish” car emblem have developed a controversial new product designed to win a decisive victory in a battle that has raged for a decade now. In a […]

CROCKETT’S BLUFF, AR – In a startling collision of modern technology and ministry, Crockett’s Bluff Community Church is the first known church in America to use Logitech’s biochip technology to receive its weekly tithes and offerings. According to last year’s church theme – “Be ID’d With CBCC in ’03” – the congregation of 15,782 outfitted […]

Steve’s iPower Book CINCINNATI, OH – Cincinnati resident Steve Philips is noticeably more excited about his recent switch from Windows-based PCs to Apple computers than his recent conversion from atheism to Christianity. Philips, an account manager for Choice Communications, was baptized shortly after his conversion and is in contact with Apple computers as a potential […]