Below are some of the votes and comments
submitted by readers who took last month's survey.
Brian - Edinburgh, Scotland
Voted For:
Downloading Music
Reason: It's okay as long as it's Christian music, right? Not only does
it spread the word, it stops Christian musicians from becoming rich, with
all the temptations wealth brings. You can get free music AND save the
artist's soul!
Kevin - Rochester, NY
Voted For:
Any animal rights law
Reason: I should be able to eat any animal I want to without any legal
repercussions. And it would be environmentally friendly. I would tell
my kids, ''Well, now that dinner is over, I have an announcement. Fido
passed away this morning due to massive head trauma done by a shovel.
I know he meant a lot to you, and I want you to know this: He'll always
be a part of you... ...because you just ate him.''
John - Seattle, WA
Voted For:
Speeding
Reason: My car was designed to go fast, it would be a sin not to let it
do what it was made for.
THO's Response: John, we think
we need to have a little talk. We're all about letting people do what
they were made for. Just make sure you only do it if you really love
driving. And protect yourself! ...like with a seatbelt. Driving with double
protection is always safer, too. Airbags now come standard on most vehicle
lines. Most importantly, be prepared to face the consequences if something
goes wrong. Don't think you can drive any car as fast as you want
and walk away unaffected if you get caught speeding. Maybe you should
just wait till you're older. People will respect you if you wait
to drive fast.
Eric - Redding, CA
Voted For:
Thou Shalt Not Kill
Reason: Why not? I mean, I killed a cat the other day with my car. It
was accidental but still, I killed it. I killed that spider that had my
daughter screaming last night...what? It's murder? Oh... never mind.
John - Kalamazoo, MI
Voted For:
Law of Gravity
Reason: Time is short. Repent!!!
Stu - Bellevue, NE
Voted For:
IRS Tax Codes
Reason: Because not even JESUS can understand that mess. If He wanted
us to feed the IRS, He would have said ''Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's,
unless you are filing separately from your spouse, in which case you render
unto Caesar a W4, making exemptions for dependents and adding in the accrued
value of all deductibles as stated in Page 6953, Paragraph 6, Line 48B,
amen.''
Scott - Orlando, FL
Voted For:
All Traffic Laws
Reason: ...judging by all the Ichthus Fish, Jesus Fish, Truth-eating-Darwin
Fish, God Is My Co-Pilot, In Case Of Rapture, etc., I see all over the
rear ends of offending vehicles.
Lori - Fort Worth, TX
Voted For:
Gravity
Reason: I know it's not a traditional Bill of Rights, driving, marriage,
having kids, or school law, but the law of gravity would apply because
we're going up to Heaven, and I know I'm not coming back down!!!! :)
THO's Response: We're not
sure you understand the science behind divine ascension, whether regarding
Elijah, Christ, or Christians in the future. The reason we don't
just float around all day is because the downward force of gravity equals
the upward force the Earth exerts on our feet. Or, in the case of freefall,
the downward force of gravity exceeds the upward force the atmosphere
exerts on our bodies. Divine ascension isn't based on God removing
the downward force of gravity. Rather, he miraculously provides a great
upward force. For Elijah, a whirlwind lifted him upwards. There are many
ways God could manipulate the air around us to cause ascension. None of
which require breaking His enacted law of gravity. PS – Gravity
isn't even a non-traditional Bill of Rights.
Lisa - Rochester, NY
Voted For:
Any law that Jesus broke
Reason: If the law is irrelevant enough for Jesus, then it's irrelevant
enough for me. Working on the Sabbath? Causing public disturbances in
temples? Stealing other people's donkeys? Evading arrest? Bring it on.
Frances H. - Fremont, CA
Voted For:
Speeding
Reason: My life is too purpose-driven to slow down for anything!
Susann - Amarillo, TX
Voted For:
Either Speeding or Defamation Laws
Reason: It's really a toss-up which laws are more hindering. On one hand,
defamation laws prevent true and soul-searing proselytizing. How can you
convert someone if you don't condemn every detail of their sins? Traffic
laws are just bunk. God will protect us from heathens in hybrid vehicles!
Mary Beth - Susquehanna
Voted For:
Speeding
Reason: Speeding laws, because if you don't break them and actually drive
the speed limit, you pose more of a threat to everyone else's health!
Hazey - Los Angeles, CA
Voted For:
Any and every law...
Reason: ...that gets in the way of loving God with your whole being, and
loving others as yourself.
THO's Response: Oh you had us there!
We were like, "Whaaaat!!? Every law???" But then we
started reading your explanation and figured out there was a condition.
Good one, Hazey.
Tim - Cincinnati OH
Voted For:
Speeding
Reason: If God meant for us to drive slowly He wouldn't have made cars
that can go so fast.
Dave P. - Waukee, IA
Voted For:
Campaign Finance Reform
Reason: This fall when CFR kicks in, it will be a federal crime to mention
the name of a candidate from the pulpit. It may be illegal, but I believe
pastors should ignore this law and go ahead with their sermon about Moses
and the burning BUSH, or how Simon the Cyrene was made to KERRY the cross.
We've got to defend our freedom of speech!
Greg - Rochester, NY
Voted For:
Murder
Reason: Um. Slain in the spirit.
George - London, England
Voted For:
Copyright/Music Piracy Laws
Reason: It's good stewardship of our money to buy cheap bootlegs instead
of overpriced genuine CDs & DVDs...and if it's Christian music CDs,
then we're helping spread the gospel by copying them. A few record companies
might lose money - but hey, that's a blessing, too! Blessed are the poor,
right?
John - Detroit, MI
Voted For:
That law about aborting your children
Reason: Well, it's really not a law that you have to abort you children.
But if you listen to ''prospective Democratic candidate John Kerry'' (tm)
it should be. He likes to talk about how abortion should be legal and
rare. I know full well what he has been doing to make sure it is legal.
I am unaware of anything he has ever done to insure that it is rare....
Jeremy - Newburgh, IN
Voted For:
Traffic Laws
Reason: Come on!!! As Christians, we should be able to drive as fast as
we want whenever we want to!!! We have our guardian angel things on our
sunvisors and since Jesus is our co-pilot, he'll make sure we don't get
hurt too bad.
Ralph Spoilsport - 18765
Voted For:
Asking Congress's permission to wage war against Arabs
Reason: A Crusade is a gift to God.
J. Adair - Yellowknife
Voted For:
Worldly
Reason: Any law which forces a Christian to break God's law.
Mark Saunders - Marietta, GA
Voted For:
Speeding
Reason: These laws are about revenue generation, not public safety.
Chris Todd - Albertville, AL
Voted For:
Speed Limits
Reason: Speed limits are entirely optional for youth groups whose leader
woke up late and still wants to make the big event. Risking the lives
of children and passers-by is perfectly acceptable if you're worried about
getting seats in the nosebleed section. Oh, and make sure you have a fish
bumper sticker on your Church van.
Katie - Chicago, IL
Voted For:
Traffic Laws
Reason:
1. About 5 people in America actually abide by all traffic laws.
2. I like to drive fast and if people get in my way I'll creatively (ie.
illegally) move around them, lest I be slowed down by them. Anyway, I'm
sure more than half the time I have much more important agendas than they
do!
J. Chaffee - Geneva, NY
Voted For:
Speed Limit
Reason: My guardian angel can fly really, really fast.
Dr. Dave - San Antonio, TX
Voted For:
Lev. 19:19 "Clothing of Mixed Weaves"
Reason: Man, ain't nothing wrong with a nice polyworsted suit. Heck, ain't
nothin' wrong with powder blue polyester leisure suits either--especially
on a man o' gawd with a fine pompadour and a KJV with Strong's Concordance
in the back! Mixed weaves beat wool undies any day. Can you imagine a
wool thong? God's sheep shouldn't do that....
THO's Response: Usually we don't
even allow double negatives in the submissions we post. But since you
did it twice they probably cancel out – just like the negative you
intended cancels out in each of those statements. As for the undies, your
point is especially valid if they are homemade. When you shear the sheep
yourself and don't have industrial-grade teasing equipment, impurities
tend to remain in the wool—like small burrs.
Eric - Fremont, CA
Voted For:
Drunk Driving
Reason: As Christians, we should be permitted to drive under the influence
of the Spirit, which often is interpreted as driving under the influence
of alcohol.
Ben Walker - Cincinnati, OH
Voted For:
Gravity
Reason: Because Jesus did it... you know, at the launching of the Lord.
Lucinda McCollar - Moundsville, WV
Voted For:
55 Speed Limit
Reason: In those famous words: Gonna lock me up for 125. Post my face,
I'm wanted dead or alive. Take my license, all that jive I can't drive
55!
Larry Place - Jackson, TN
Voted For:
Speed Limit
Reason: Christians do not break the speed limit law; rather, they fulfill
it.
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