While all the other kids in the neighborhood are out begging for teeth-rotting treats on "Hell"-oween, the children of your church can be having the holy time of their lives at a happening Harvest Party. Here's how:

1. Come up with a clever Biblical costume theme. Kids love nothing more than dressing up like the great characters of the Bible. While their worldly counterparts are donning the threads of Howard Potter and Springboard Squareshorts, your kids will be sporting the royal robes of the Minor Prophets or The Twelve Disciples. Who needs Ninja Mutant Teenage Turtles?
   
   
2. Instead of the unsanitary sport of bobbing for apples, plan non-threatening and edifying games like Bible Drills or Mystery Bible Character. Instead of having prizes for a few winners, explain to the children at the end of each game that everyone is a winner in God's eyes.
   
   
3. As an alternative to the destructive pranks which are often associated with All Hallows Eve, take the kids around the neighborhood and have them rake leaves and perform other yard-related chores for the elderly.
   
   
4. Instead of stringing up scary skeletons and ghoulish jack-o-lanterns, decorate the church with plump pumpkins and appealing gourds in a beautiful, cornucopia arrangement.
   
   
5. Rather than scaring the dickens out of the kids with frightening tales of escaped mass-murderers with hooks, show a filmstrip about how crops are harvested and how God has given us the sustenance of the earth to meet our needs.
   
   
6. Come up with a Bible-based snack alternative to the unhealthy and sugary snacks of Halloween. Feed the kids something like loaves and fishes and top it off with some healthy, but delicious sugar-free jell-o for dessert.

After a hip Holy Observer approved Harvest Party like this, your kids will forget all about the wicked temptations of Satan's holiday. They'll be waiting with anticipation for the harvest to come again next year!