WASHINGTON – In his weekly radio address to the nation on Saturday, President Bush announced his initiative for federalized faith-based healthcare. In the aftermath of the ‘04 campaign for the White House, Bush sought to alleviate the fears of Americans still facing a shortage in flu vaccinations. “My proposal would completely eliminate the cost of healthcare by replacing doctors, nurses, and lawyers with 100 of the nation’s top intercessory prayer warriors.”

During the half hour address, Bush outlined his vision to have all Americans covered in prayer by 2006. “First, we will set up a Health Senate consisting of two prayer warriors in each state in the union. Then we will design a web site where patients can login privately, set up a faith-based health account, and notify their state intercessors of any personal health concerns they may have. When their request has been sufficiently prayed for, the patient will receive an e-mail update instructing them to carry on with their normal daily activities.” Bush went on to say that healthcare in the United States will cost virtually nothing, as it will be covered “by our Creator’s inexhaustible riches of grace n’stuff.”

At the Shamrock Country Club in Boston, Senator Kerry responded to Bush’s proposal. “During this President’s first term, lots of people died. I had a plan.”

Following his address to the nation, President Bush and his newly appointed panel of Faithcare experts held a briefing with reporters in the East Room of the White House. National Day of Prayer Chairman Shirley Dobson responded to tough questions posed by the Associated Press and THO staffers. “There’ll be healthcare warfare for sure. But prayer changes things. Just look at the cumulative cultural impact of all the National Days of Prayer over the years.”

Bush revealed that, "We got the idea from all the intelligence gathering programs we've been running. They’ve been almost exclusively faith-based for the last couple decades. All hundred of the intercessors testify to what the Almighty is doing in the world of healthcare. He wants us to remove insurance companies from the picture. Healthcare should be between a patient, and the prayer partner of his choice. Besides, with all the money we’re gonna save, we can re-start that Stertegic Defense Initiation. You know, Star Wars. You tell Kim Jong-il I got his phantom menace right here."

Senior healthcare intercessor Jerrod MacAdoo advised reporters of the swearing-in ceremony of the first session of President Bush’s Health Senate. “On January 1, 2005, we can kiss the Hypocratic Oath goodbye. America’s health intercessors will be sworn in as they raise their right hands and say the Serenity Prayer.”