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Church Leaders Urge Christians to Reduce Their Prayer Footprints
Experts warn of a looming shortage of "supernatural resources"
VATICAN CITY — An unprecedented summit of Christian leaders convened here earlier this month to take part in a summit to address what many fear could be the greatest spiritual crisis of our time — a shortage of prayer.
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Youth Group Wants Shy Member Back in Shell
Obnoxious behavior and bad jokes make leaders and youth long for quieter days
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO — For years leaders and youth group members at New Mexico Church of Christ took great pains to get the group’s shyest member, Corey Tait, to take part in more activities and show more of his personality. But these days, those well-intentioned folks are feeling like victims of their own success. […]
Worship Leader Sues Church for Thigh Slapping Injury
OAK PARK, IL — Worship Leader Eunice Matthews has brought suit against Oak Park Community Church, claiming that they are responsible for a thigh injury that she suffered while leading Sunday morning worship. The lawsuit, filed in US District Court last week, claims that Matthews gave herself a severe deep thigh bruise while slapping her […]
Outreach to Midgets Comes Up Short
Pastor John Huber still has a burden for little people. This, in spite of the fact that his evangelistic efforts among Orange County’s diminutive sinners have produced no converts. “We’ve just got to raise the bar,” the unflappable Baptist minister said. A weekend crusade for little people held last week at his Santa Ana church […]
Bible Smugglers Release 31,103 Scripture Duckies on Euphrates River
BASRA, Iraq — Call it fowl play. Open Doors, the legendary missions network led by Brother Andrew, recently smuggled one Bible into the Middle East. The big deal? Not in traditional format—print, cassette tape or MP3—Andrew’s crew floated all 31,103 verses of the Bible down the Euphrates River, via rubber duckies.
Visitor Wants Less Information About Church
ST. LOUIS, MO – Derek Freeman found himself experiencing information overload on a recent first time visit to nearby Chesterfield Community Church. “I was sitting in the all purpose sanctuary, enjoying my chai tea latte, when the woman up front invited new visitors to see someone on the welcome team if they wanted more information […]
God to Professional Athletes: Stop Pointing at Me
New declaration from The Almighty makes gesturing to Him on field a sin
HEAVEN – In a press release issued earlier this month, God declared that professional athletes in any sport who point or gesture in any way in His direction while on the field of play will be subject to the normal penalties for committing a sin. The policy seems to have been in the works for […]
Older Articles
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Dec 17th, 2007Heavenly Greetings To Become More Blunt, Accurate
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Dec 15th, 2007Asian American Pastor Speaks Only English
Chicago native of Korean descent also knows no martial arts -
Dec 15th, 2007Writers’ Strike Hits TBN Hard
Healing services, fundraising scripts most affected -
Jun 15th, 2004Schedule Change For Local Waitress Means Goodbye Church Crowd, Hello Tips
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Apr 12th, 2004Darwinists Strike Again With T-Rex Eating Ichthus Fish Eating Darwin Fish Emblem
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Sep 12th, 2003Man Happier About Switch to Mac than Conversion to Christianity
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Jul 12th, 2003Millions More Damned For Harry Potter-Related Sins
Congregation Collects Marlboro Miles, Decorates Church
WABASH, IN. – Bake sales. Car washes. Bingo. Churches for decades have relied on tried and true methods of fundraising when tithes and offerings left vision-thick congregations in a lurch. But Wabash Christian Center has taken a unique approach to supplying ministerial needs. Eschewing fundraising altogether, the 20-year-old fellowship collects Marlboro Miles to outfit its church.
Top 10 Things Overheard At Sunday’s Church Potluck
10. “If I’d wanted microwaved burritos, I’d have gone to church at the 7-11.”
9. “Girl, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
8. “Mmm, you can almost smell the E. Coli.”
7. “Hmmm, I wonder how all that angel food cake fits into Pastor Rob’s South Beach Diet.”
6. “I’d like to slap the hands that prepared THIS meal.”
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