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Darwin
T-Rex eating the Truth Fish eating the Darwin fish on the tailgate
of a 2004 Ford F-150 |
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The creators of the notorious “Darwin
Fish” car emblem have developed a controversial new product designed
to win a decisive victory in a battle that has raged for a decade now.
In a move hailed by supporters as “the final blow” in that
battle, Ring of Fire Enterprises is set to release their newest product,
a silver outline of a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating the creationist “Truth
Fish.”
The ten-year clash began when Ring of Fire Enterprises released its first
product, the infamous Darwin fish. Designed to counter the popularity
of the Ichthus Fish, the original Christian fish symbol, the first Ring
of Fire emblem featured an Ichthus Fish with evolutionary feet and the
word “Darwin” emblazoned inside. The creationist response
was the now-famous “Truth” emblem, a larger Ichthus fish containing
the word “truth” swallowing the Darwin fish whole.
For years, the Truth fish has been the last word in automotive iconography—until
now. In late 2003, the ROF board of directors commissioned a new image,
one that would counter the popularity of the Truth fish.
“It’s a matter of finishing what we started, really,”
says ROF co-founder Nona S. Williams with a chuckle. “The original
Darwin fish stated our initial message well, but we had to admit the Christians
responded pretty strongly. We don’t anticipate they can trump the
new T-Rex emblem so easily!”
Indeed, the board of directors was hoping for a decisive blow when it
commissioned the new piece; from the start, it was proposed to be the
largest car emblem yet. For such a task, they called upon the talents
of the anonymous designer of the original Darwin fish.
They were not disappointed. The new emblem is five to six times larger
than its predecessor, and the dinosaur devours an actual-size Truth fish,
leaving a broken fin at its feet. It is so large that it won’t fit
on most compact cars. In fact, the instructions included with the new
piece—which retails for $24.95—suggest purchasing an SUV or
pickup truck in order to display it.
Williams admits this might deter some people from purchasing their newest
product. But, she says, ROF was willing to accept that drawback on a statement
that will be difficult if not impossible to thwart. “The creationists
might be able to come up with something to eat our T-Rex—God knows
they’re clever enough to come up with bogus theories about the primordial
fossil record—but let’s see them fit it on their cars!”
The release of the T-Rex emblem has some in the Christian community worried.
But the latest attack on the Ichthus fish doesn’t worry Bob Woodward,
the creator of the Truth fish. In a recent press release, he argued that
truth is more than a catchy slogan or trendy bumper sticker, and pointed
out a fatal flaw in the Darwinists’ decision to include a dinosaur
in their latest offering: extinction. “The last Tyrannosaurus Rex
fell down dead over 60 million years ago. The Truth of literal biblical
creationism, on the other hand, is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
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